PSYCH SENTENCE STARTERS

lettucedoathing:

• “The best way to convince people you’re not lying to them is to tell them you are.”
• “I might have dropped six allergy pills in your frosty while you were peeing.”
• “Did that joke just arrive in a time machine from 1992?”
• “They were like big, angry marshmallows!”
• “Clouds don’t kill people. People kill people.”
• “Why you dirty rascal with the suede, suede head.”
• “The chips say you’re a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!”
• “How about you play six degrees of kiss my ass?”
• “Doodles are the windows to the soul.”
• “Your shirt’s like a genocide of colour. Somewhere a rainbow is weeping.”
• “Do you think I could borrow your underpants? Just for ten minutes.”
• “All I see is chocolate with hair on it.”
• “Nothing can dent our impenetrable bond.”
• “I don’t lose things; I place things in locations which later elude me.”
• “Was this chicken seasoned with molten lava?”
• “You cheeky screwball.”
• “I’m not big on nude handshakes.”
• “Now, let us go forth and kick much ass.”
• “You looked badass until you clocked yourself in the face.”
• “Are you asking me on a date beside this dead body?”
• “I will eat you in manageable, bite-sized pieces.”
• “Only psychos answer ads on Craigslist; you might as well have posted it on murdermethisinstant.com.”

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