“Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What’ve you been eating, rocks?”
“Can I come in?”
“We will call you Little One.“
“I can talk to fish!”
“She doesn’t have a soul. Have you ever seen her dance?”
“You were designed to be very smart.”
“And yet I still can’t program my DVD player.”
“There’s nothing special about him at all.”
“Well… He’s a snappy dresser.”
“Pick a tree. I’ll carve our initials into it.”
“So there you have it: the extent of my charms.”
“I don’t damnsel well. Distress, I can do. Damnseling? Not so much.”
“I choose you.”
“Oh, God, I want to do this all the time.”
“Don’t ever leave me again.”
“I won’t. I won’t, not ever.”
“Come back!”
“Wake up! Snap out of it!”
“You stupid jerk! I’m going to kill you if you die on me!”
“I offered to pee on him, but they said no.”
“They call me, The Sharkalator.”
“I love you. I looooove you. I love you thiiiiiiiiiis much!”
“I once ate nine sicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”
“I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!”
“Blending is out of the question.”
“There is one bright side to this.”
“You looove me, you love me this much!”
“You are avake, yah?”
“And you’re still a jerk, yah?”
“You stand out like a fart in a church.”
“Where was the catch? ‘Cause I knew one was coming.”
“Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?”
“You’re all the same. Count me out.”
“Oh great. Yoda captured us.”
“Dang, I’m good.”
“I feel like I’m going to hurl.”
“I feel like I’m going to HURL. Which, even if I wanted to do, I couldn’t do, because I haven’t eaten.”
“I can’t even drag myself out of my room.”
“You’re a diabolical little pyro, aren’t you?”
“If you’re ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol.”
“Yes, let’s have more testosterone running the country.”
“Go to Germany and have kids together.”
“Oh. Was I not supposed to say anything?”
“I mean, this is pathetic.”
“You can help each other. You’re perfect complements to each other.”
“Shut up!”
“I hear voices, okay?”
“If you’re gonna be here, get used to it. Or else keep your distance.”
“No, I know. It’s just–”
“Their mothers were nobodies.”
“Well, you’re right there.”
“Yeah, you’re sitting in a tree because you’re fine. That’s easy to see.”
“All you need now to make yourself more pathetic is a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream!”
“Excuse me? I’m alive too.”
“So the first thing we’re going to do —is push you off the roof.”
“I am a starfishhhh!”
“I don’t care if we have our house, or a cliff ledge, or a cardboard box. Home is wherever we all are, together.”
“If you think I’m going to let you give up on us now, you’ve got another think coming.”
“ No! It’s different for you, you don’t know what it’s like…”
“You’re coming with us right now, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week.”
“Now get up, before I kill you.”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“Is that one of those square ones, in the middle?”
“What’s so funny ‘bout peace, love, and world destruction?”
“I’m not going to die today.”
“Time to die.”
“Harden your heart.”
“Save your world. Love it. Protect it, and respect it and don’t let haters represent it.
“It’s yours! It’s all yours for the taking!”
“Don’t leave the saving to anyone else, ever.”
“I’m human, do you hear me? It hurts!”
“When did they start coming after you?”
“I think it was the bomb. That definitely seemed to tick them off.”
“Just give it your best shot.”
“You know, it sounds like you guys didn’t really think this all the way through.”
“Well, I got news for you, nimrod.”
“I’m done jumping through your hoops.”
“You can tell yourselves that you’re doing all this to save the world,
but really you’re just a bunch of psycho puppet-masters who probably
didn’t date enough in high school.”
“You mean you don’t have one? You can get ‘em at Target.”
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