"Boy, they keep making that ketchup slower and slower, huh?"
"She's not insane, she just sounds it."
"If the house was burning down, what would you save first, the cake or me?"
"I am super hungry today. I had to debate ordering for three but I'll tell you how I feel after two."
"I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands."
"I have no patience for jam hands!"
"Oh, well, maybe she's still stuck under that desk. You might want to send someone out there to look."
"No. It's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?"
"Do you think you'll be single your entire life?"
"I think we should get married. Soon."
"Something historical in our price range would be perfect."
"You know historical homes are infested with mold, don’t you?"
"Are you being attacked by your possessions again?"
"So, umm... basically, uh, everything here is chicken."
"Oh, don’t "whatever" me, you little jerk!"
"You're muttering under your breath. Years of experience have taught me that when you do that, it's usually about me."
"I forgot his name from the desk to here, that's how memorable he is."
"Okay, that's a good idea. But, if we went with that, we'd actually have to build a robot."
"My mother told me never go through a lady’s bag. . .at least, not until you’re a couple blocks away. I’m just kidding, she never said that. Though it sounds like pretty good advice, doesn’t it?"
"You're crude and unprofessional."
" I'd like that on my tombstone please."
"'Cause I'm so damn lonely not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore."
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